Special Message From Harduff Stone, Esquire:

UncleGrump.com is temporarily out of service as the result of a secret order issued by the Department of Homeland Insecurity. The order was authorized in a secret hearing before a secret federal court after Uncle Grump's secret arrest on secret charges. Yes, unbeknownst to the Obama Administration, Alberto Gonzales is still running the Injustice Department, from a secret bunker in Crawford, Texas.

But don't despair. We are moving to a new server (of course, the site will still be known as UncleGrump.com) operating out of a small island in the Pacific that Uncle Grump recently "purchased" from its natives with the aid of a medium-sized squadron of bloodthirsty mercenaries. In a non-contested election supervised by the mercenaries, the survivors have chosen Uncle Grump as their King.

I have every confidence that once sufficient funds are tendered to the proper officials, the secret militia vessel transporting Uncle Grump to his secret trial in an "unsafe house" in Iraq will be rerouted to Grump Island, so that he may take his place among the world's leaders, including Secret Militia Generalissimo Bush, and build the nuclear reactor he needs to provide power for his castle fortress, and the rockets he will need to extend his influence through the rest of the universe.