Uncle Grump's Guide to Life

“Spare the bat, and spoil the brat.”

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Archive
1 Column 1 - My Son's Heathen Fiancee
2 Column 2 - Road Rage and Revenge
3 Column 3 - Teenage Suicide 1
4 Column 4 - Teenage Suicide 2
5 Column 5 - Teenage Suicide 3
6 Column 6 - Disciplining a Bad Boy
7 Column 7 - Your Right to Beat Your Children
8 Column 8 - Maximum Child Security
9 Column 9 - Doctor Grump's Placebo Pharmacy
10 Column 10 - Heart Attack: Posthumous Care
11 Column 11 - Tough Love for Potheads
12 Column 12 - Choosing Guns for Your Children
13 Column 13 - Surrogate Child-Beating
14 Column 14 - Suitcase Nuke
15 Column 15 - Gideon Babble
16 Column 16 - House on Fire
17 Column 17 - My Neighbor, The Terrorist
18 Column 18 - Public Toilet Security Cameras
19 Column 19 - Filth Education for Boys
20 Column 20 - Filth Education for Girls
21 Column 21 - Slave Adoption
22 Column 22 - Uncle Grump Wants YOU!
23 Column 23 - Random Experimental Drug Testing
24 Column 24 - Sexual Reorientation Camp
25 Column 25 - Impatient Confidentiality
26 Column 26 - Cigarettes for Kids
27 Column 27 - Dumping Your Bad Child
28 Column 28 - Fat Daughter-in-Law
29 Column 29 - Hurrichicanery Warning
30 Column 30 - Bearing Your Rapist's Child
31 Column 31 - Cheating Skunk
32 Column 32 - The Eleventh Commandment: Thou Shalt Beat Thy Children
33 Column 33 - Prisoner in My Own Home
34 Column 34 - Am I Having a Heart Attack?!
35 Column 35 - Heart Attack! Time to Panic!
36 Column 36 - How to Pick up Skanks
37 Column 37 - Interspecies Romance
38 Column 38 - Wifely Duties
39 Column 39 - Mensturbation
40 Column 40 - Returning Your Adopted Child
41 Column 41 - Demonizing your Ex-Child
42 Column 42 - Marijuana Euthanasia
43 Column 43 - Terminal Snoring
44 Column 44 - My Son, the Pot Fiend
45 Column 45 - In The Navy!
46 Column 46 - Obamacare Death Panels
47 Column 47 - Dear Crabby
48 Column 48 - Cancer as a Cure for Sex
49 Column 49 - Career and Modus Ops
50 Column 50 - Justifiable Triggerhappiness
51 Column 51 - Decriminalization of Rape
52 Column 52 - So Enough Already With All the Kvetching
53 Column 53 - Terminal Self-Abuse